This Is What It’s Like To Date Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

It’s not just sex, dating and relationships that feel in flux. With birth rates declining around the world and first-time parents getting older on average than ever before in the west, expectations and attitudes surrounding parenthood are also being rewritten. Hyper-vigilance over a loved one’s actions can also be a sign someone has borderline personality disorder, according to PsychCentral.

Furthermore, many people who have been in a romantic relationship with someone with BPD describe their partner as fun, exciting, and passionate. A 2011 review published in the Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience looked at how those with BPD differed from those without when it came to sexual behavior. The authors conclude that those with BPD seemed to exhibit impulsivity through various behaviors, including earlier sexual encounters, more casual sexual experiences, and more partners, for example. It’s highly advisable that you also focus on your emotional needs, mental health, and personal safety. Their willingness to work on managing their symptoms isn’t up to you.

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If you think you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, be careful. It’s more that, over time, things begin to change. You begin to notice that you just don’t feel quite right about their reactions to things.

On Being Bullied for Having BPD…

Prior to her diagnosis, her boyfriend, Thomas, used to blame himself for her hot and cold behavior. “Many of her mood swings before the diagnosis were difficult for me to understand,” he says. Especially when your parents are divorced and it’s like flip flopping from going against one parent to another all because you want to please both. But thank you for sharing this page it helped a little. I am a survivor of childhood trauma due to a likely BPD mother.

This means borderline personality disorder relationships and cheating could come hand in hand, although not always. Being married to a man with a borderline personality disorder, or woman can feel as though they are pulling you closer with one hand, and pushing you away with the other. Due to their deep-seated fear of abandonment, they will test you over and over again to check if you are going to leave them. Usually, this means they will expect you to accept them at their worst, while at the same time telling you to leave. Loving someone with a borderline personality disorder differs from loving someone with intimacy issues, as BPD is a persistent personality trait that causes major distress.

My German grandmother used to say, “ Hope is the last to die.” Yes, certainly there is always hope yet – baseline behavior aka normalcy as you and experience it is a long hike away for people with BPD. With the right support and guidance, it is possible to build a strong and healthy relationship with someone who has BPD. When dating someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, it is important to seek support from friends and family when needed.

Dating A Girl With BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

Means having to cope with often nerve-wracking emotional rollercoasters. One minute you’re their soulmate, the next, you’re their arch enemy, and you can never be sure what you did to cause this. Your partner perceives everything as black or white and irrationally shifts between the good and the bad. Loving someone who hurts you can be confusing. Though everyone is different, there are a few reasons why you may still love an abusive partner. According to Gunderson, and still considered relevant today, self-sabotage is one way some people with BPD can elicit the caring responses they need from those around them.

To learn more about the experience of dating with BPD, we spoke to Debbie Longsdale, Therapy Services Director at Priory. Sounds like good advice if you want an average boring relationship. People hate hearing the truth, but in this day and age, nearly every girl you’ll meet who has options on the dating market will have BPD traits. Borderlines are not difficult to date when you know how. I need to go to work, go for a drive and let him cool down.

An individual with BPD has a frantic fear of abandonment – which doesn’t help the relationship. Her heightened sense of emotions and difficulty to soothe herself leads to major drama even when a partner is willing to stay and work with her to overcome the challenges. Many individuals with BPD have a history of brief and intensive relationships that ended prematurely and badly. Quite often the healthy partner leaves ; he can’t deal with the emotional outbursts and relational roller coaster.

I am aware this is very pathetic, but I don’t even know where to begin or who to talk to, as he was my best friend. When he wants attention, he wants it then and there.. I know if I had my own circle of separate friends, I could play hard-ball right back at him, because I would no longer cater to his jealousy, or drop everything for him. I have a lot of self-awareness after years battling depression, so I know what my flaws are, but still handled BPD very poorly. Now in the process of commanding respect and sure it pays off! Thanks for writing about what most psychologists don’t even know.

Why Dating Someone With BPD Might Be Hard

As some of you know, I was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, a form of depression. … If you think you’re depressed, see a doctor and talk to them about medication and also be healthy. Eating right and exercise can make a huge difference. And finally, if you’re in the cast of a late-night comedy show, it might help if they, you know, do more of your sketches. Dialectical behavioral therapy is one of the most effective treatments for people with borderline personality disorder.

Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. If you feel responsible for how they feel, then you will get drawn into enabling the destructive behavior to continue. The partner of the borderline usually ends up reacting when they feel wrongly accused of not wanting them or ignoring their needs.

You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time, and in severe cases, on the border between reality and psychosis. Your illness distorts your perceptions, causing antagonistic behavior and making the world a perilous place. The pain and terror of abandonment and feeling unwanted can be so great that suicide feels like a better choice. My Ex i suspect she has this condition but slightly lower she was super draining to the point we had a conversation on the phone for about 8hr.